At long last, the latest episode of The Secret Lair is up, in which Overlord Miller calls a board meeting with yours truly as the Chief Medical Officer, Natalie as the Secretary of Aesthetic Engineering, and David as the Commandant of the Air Forces in attendance. We address both the scent of bacon wafting through The Lair, and what that might have to do with the fate of the absent Overlord Johnson.

Also, therein lies a roundtable on our recent geeky pursuits, after which I find myself strapped into the Interrogation Chamber: I am interviewed about the need for, and the issues surrounding, the non-medically trained public reading articles from the medical literature directly, as opposed to merely accepting media reporting on medical study results at face value. From the medical evidence behind bedbugs and superbugs to finding citations to support beer and good health, it’s a fun and informative chat.

Go here and listen, else when the Overlords’ time comes, you will be the first into servitude.

Astute observers of the Secret Lair will have noted that things have been a bit more… quiet… than usual. Surmising, perhaps, that we had called it quits and abandoned the base. Which is exactly what we wanted you to think.

In reality, the Overlords and Minions have been toiling away in secrecy on machinations most mischevious, and plots perfectly planned. And lo, the time has come to unleash them upon a world lulled into a naive stupor by our determined silence. Behold!

• Overlord Miller has defied the rumor of his being frozen in carbonite, and has returned
• The Secretary of Artistic Propaganda has delivered The Secret Lair Comic 0024: Speculums, in which palpation is mentioned, and I flush with warmth
• Overlord Miller reviews The Baristas
• Overlord Johnson reviews the Amazon Kindle
• episode 42 of The Secret Lair audio podcast, Carbonite-Flavored Magic Shell, has been released, in which the Overlords are joined by both myself and the Minister of Crackpot Schemes and Unfortunate Synergies to discuss shiny gadgetry, the free copulation of animals, the paid copulation of humans, and other topics
• and tomorrow, you just might be graced with some comments of my own construction…

Go here now and visit The Secret Lair, else when the Overlords’ time comes, you will be the first into servitude.

A flash story I read for the Parsec Award-winning Drabblecast, Character Flu by Robert Reed, is now up for your auditory delight. It contains both a plague and the potential for death on a massive scale, a combo that makes me exceedingly happy.

Also in the episode are readings of Mary Robinette Kowal’s Evil Robot Monkey, and Toaster of the Gods by Randall Coots, which makes for a true trifecta of good times.

The Secret Lair Comic #0023: Squirrels

There have been many goings-on in the Secret Lair of late, including the most recent comic by Natalie, the Secretary of Artistic Propaganda. It is, perhaps, the greatest piece of illustrated work ever summoned into existence, not the least of which because it includes me and MEGA-syringes. In fact, I would argue that it is Art.

Also, recent audio emanations from the Lair’s pan-global transmitters have included episode 36, an examination of Robert Downey, Jr. and cinema, as well as episode 37, a celebration of Monster Week 2010 and affectionate companion/rebuttal to Mr. Newquist’s own Monster Week 2010 gala. I am particularly chagrined at having missed out on contributing to that discussion, since one of my duties as the Bad Doctor is to oversee the Lair’s monster husbandry. That said, the latter show does establish the inherent coolness of the MEGA- prefix, and that the Overlords harbor a hushed fear of Dr. MEGA-John Cmar and his prehensile ponytail. As well they should.

A story I read for Escape Pod, Billion-Dollar View by Ray Tabler, is now up for your auditory delight. It’s a classic story of hot love and cold space.

Perhaps I shall not only be known as SNACKY CAKE.

“But my name is Simon.”

Molly shook her head and chuckled. “With a head of hair like that? Nope, from now on your name is Red.”

Simon felt his young face flushing with embarrassment, which would further cement his new nickname. “What if I don’t want to be called Red?”

“Too late, should have shaved your head before I bought your contract.” Molly winked at him, executed a back flip in mid-air and launched herself out of the Labor Mart. “Come on, Red. We ain’t got all day.”

parsec, a cc by-nc-nd image from kurt_eh on Flickr

It is of interest that the shortlist nominees for the 2010 Parsec Awards were released today:

Best Speculative Fiction Story (Short Form)

• Clarkesworld Magazine – “The Things” by Peter Watts [subscribe]
• Podcastle – “Restless in my Hand by Tim Pratt [subscribe]
• Tales of the Children – “Swimming Lessons” by Gabrielle Harbowy [subscribe]
• “The Tank” by Scott Sigler
• The Dunesteef Audio Fiction Magazine – “A Princess Of Earth” by Mike Resnick [subscribe]

Best Speculative Fiction Story (Novella Form)

• Tattoo by Paul Elard Cooley [subscribe]
• 7th Son: 7 Days by J.C. Hutchins [subscribe]
• Heaven – Season Five: War by Mur Lafferty [subscribe]
• Personal Effects: Sword of Blood by J.C. Hutchins [subscribe]
• Title Fight by Scott Sigler & Matt Wallace [subscribe]

Best Speculative Fiction Story (Long Form)

• 7th Son: Descent (2009 production) by J.C. Hutchins [subscribe]
• Captain’s Share by Nathan Lowell [subscribe]
• Infected by Scott Sigler [subscribe]
• Underwood and Flinch by Mike Bennett [subscribe]
• Secret World Chronicle by Mercedes Lackey, Dennis Lee, Steve Libbey, and Cody Martin, with the reading done by Veronica Giguere [subscribe]

Best Speculative Fiction Audio Drama (Short Form)

• The Metamor City Podcast – “Whispers in the Wood” by Chris Lester [subscribe]
• In The Gloaming by Nathaniel Tapley [subscribe]
• Batman: The Ace of Detectives by Pendant Productions [subscribe]
• Sea of Stars: A Voyage of the Space Cruiser Argo by Devin Cox [subscribe]
• The Radio Adventures of Dr. Floyd by Grant Baciocco & Doug Price [subscribe]

Best Speculative Fiction Audio Drama (Long Form)

• Star Trek: Outpost by Daniel McIntosh & Tony Raymond [subscribe]
• Twilight Theatre – “Sides” by Mike Murphy [subscribe]
• We’re Alive by KC Wayland, Shane Salk, & Greyson Stone [subscribe]
• The Byron Chronicles by Eric Busby [subscribe]
• Decoder Ring Theatre by Gregg Taylor [subscribe]

Best Speculative Fiction Video Story

• Calls for Cthulhuby Brand Gamblin [subscribe]
• GOLD: Season 1 by David Nett & Andrew Deutsch [subscribe]
• Grant’s Advent Calendar by Grant Baciocco [subscribe]
• The Radio Adventures of Dr. Floyd by Grant Baciocco & Doug Price [subscribe]

Best Speculative Fiction Magazine or Anthology Podcast

• The Drabblecast edited by Norm Sherman [subscribe]
• Erotica à la Carte edited by P. J. Ballantine [subscribe]
• The Crypt edited by Scott Sigler [subscribe]
• Escape Pod edited by Mur Lafferty [subscribe]
• Variant Frequencies edited by Rick Stringer [subscribe]

Best New Speculative Fiction Podcaster/Team

• Brass Needles hosted by Miss Kalendar [subscribe]
• The Dreamer’s Thread by Starla Huchton [subscribe]
• The Gearheart by Alexander White [subscribe]
• In The Gloaming by Nathaniel Tapley [subscribe]
• ShadowCast Audio Anthology by Jason Warden [subscribe]

Best Speculative Fiction Fan or News Podcast (Specific)

• The ScapeCast featuring Brent Barrett, Chris Polansky, Hank Shiffman, Kevin Bachelder, Kimberly Thompson, Lindy Rae, Michael Falkner, Sammy Mohr, & Wendy Hembrock [subscribe]
• The Signal featuring Kari Haley, Kevin Bachelder, Kara Helgren, Les Howard, Jutta Jordans, Dave Tomasic, Andy King, Nick Edwards, Miranda Thomas, Helen Eaton, Anna Snyder, James Parkinson, & Jill Arroway [subscribe]
• The Babylon Podcast featuring Tim Callender, Summer Brooks, & Jeffrey Willerth [subscribe]
• The ForceCast featuring Jason Swank & Jimmy “Mac” McInerney [subscribe]
• The H.P. Lovecraft Literary Podcast featuring Chris Lackey & Chad Fifer [subscribe]

Best Speculative Fiction Fan or News Podcast (General)

• Television Zombies featuring Tina, Chris, Jeff, & Chuck [subscribe]
• PodCulture featuring Brad, Glenn, Christina, & Adam [subscribe]
• Galactic Watercooler featuring Audra, Chuck, & Sean [subscribe]
• Geek Radio Daily featuring Billy Flynn, The Flynstress, & The Bruce [subscribe]
• WhatTheCast featuring Brian, Stephen, Crispy, & Patrick [subscribe]

Best Podcast about Speculative Fiction Content Creation

• The Dead Robots’ Society featuring Justin Macumber, Ryan Stevenson, Terry Mixon, & P.G. Holyfield [subscribe]
• Writing Excuses featuring Brandon Sanderson, Dan Wells, Eric James Stone, Howard Tayler, & Stacy Whitman [subscribe]
• The Henson.com Podcast featuring [subscribe]
• I Should Be Writing featuring Mur Lafferty [subscribe]
• Unleashed featuring James Melzer [subscribe]

Best Fact Behind the Fiction Podcast

• The 365 Days of Astronomy featuring the Astrosphere New Media Association [subscribe]
• The Command Line Podcast featuring Thomas Gideon [subscribe]
• Skepticality featuring Derek Colanduno & Robynn “Swoopy” McCarthy [subscribe]
• The Skeptics’ Guide to the Universe featuring Steven Novella, Robert Novella, Rebecca Watson, Evan Bernstein, Jay Novella, & Perry DeAngelis [subscribe]
• Skeptoid featuring Brian Dunning [subscribe]

Best Speculative Fiction Comedy/Parody Podcast

• Dragon*ConTV featuring Brian Richardson & crew [subscribe]
• Bell’s In The Batfry featuring John Bell [subscribe]
• Teknikal Diffikulties featuring Cayenne Chris Conroy [subscribe]
• Comedy4Cast featuring Clinton Alvord [subscribe]
• Frequency of Fear featuring Zombie Astronaut [subscribe]

Hearty congratulations to all the nominees, and much luck! While my jaunt to Worldcon means I’ll be unable to reprise my emcee duties from years previous, I have it on good authority that things will be in good hands. And I’ll be watching… oh, yes, I shall.

The story I read for Escape Pod, The Love Quest of Smidgen the Snake Cake by Robert T. Jeshonek, is now up for your auditory delight. It contains innuendo as thick and heavy as cream pie flesh with a drizzle of sociopathy on top, but no actual naughtiness.

From now on, I shall be known as SNACKY CAKE.

For her entire adolescent and adult life up until three weeks ago, Lynda had been the queen of junk food. Aside from the briefest blips of non-junk spending due to occasional failed diets, she had purchased only the most fattening, high-cholesterol, chemical-soaked foods available from grocery stores, restaurants, vending machines, and mail order websites.

In short, she was the perfect woman. Though she was on a diet that day, she had eaten non-nutritious foods in great quantities all her life. Though her last purchases had been salad greens and bottled water, her 250-pound body told the true story.

I knew she was just waiting for someone like me to come along.

The latest episode of The Secret Lair is up, in which Overlords Johnson and Miller discuss the recently-exacerbated philosophical conundrum of what, exactly, is art? Let’s just say that the extensive discussion goes into some… interesting… places.

Also, therein lies my latest report as the Lair’s CMO, in which I address three burning questions, one of which may also have something to do with art. It bears noting that Overlord Johnson appears not to be aware that we have established two speculum farms in New Zealand, only one of which is what he thinks it is.

Go here and listen, else when the Overlords’ time comes, you will be the first into servitude.

It has been awhile since I’ve mentioned the goings-on at the Lair, so it is only proper that I remind you of the excellent articles that the Overlords have been churning out of late.

As to recent audio emanations, topics have included the utility of content creators giving their work away for free, an examination of Charlie Stross’s The Atrocity Archives, reminiscences of programs of years gone by, and various and sundry geekery.

Recent illustrative transmissions have included an examination of the process behind the creation of The Secret Lair comic, as well as Episode 022: The Sparring.

The latest episode of The Secret Lair is up, in which Overlords Johnson and Miller discuss the recent Amazon and Macmillan debacle (that I noted here), as well as Valentine’s Day myths… two topics that may, in fact, have more in common than one might think.

Or not.

Also, therein lies my latest report as the Lair’s CMO, in which I discuss the the reality behind the movie District 9, and take the Overlords to task for their plan to to turn said reality into a seafood feast… and also see Minister Lynn reap his due reward for suggesting such a scheme to them. Additionally, the new Ask the Overlords segment addresses bargain refurbished space shuttle purchases, and there’s a promo for Natalie’s new webcomic All Write! on Mur’s I Should Be Writing site.

Go here and listen, else when the Overlords’ time comes, you will be the first into servitude.